Can we talk about emotional labour, or mental load, specifically relating to Christmas?

I had an aha moment a few years ago when I read the comic by Emma, “You Should’ve Asked”. I realised this underlying stress that I felt, this unending pressure of invisible and thankless planning, remembering and organising has a name.

Now don’t get me wrong, I love Christmas, and all the festivities that go along with it. But it’s a lot of work to make sure the kids turn up for school on the right day, in the right Christmas jumper, with a gift for their teachers and cards for their friends (that I’ve spent several evenings cajoling them to finish because THEY want to send every child in their class a card). It takes thought and time to make my in laws a personalised photo calendar and as we’re trying to be more eco, I spend hours trawling Pinterest for DIY Christmas gift ideas before dusting off the sewing machine and going at it.

And on my husband’s to do list? Buy wife a present.

I’m not sure of the answer - last year I asked my husband to organise the cheese board and he came home with £80 worth of the stuff... Now I love cheese but not that much! So you think it’s easier to do it yourself this year but this isn’t solving the problem.

Do you relate to this? How do we share our mental load with our partners?

**Disclaimer, I don’t hate men and I know this isn’t ALL men.